Thinker's Corner

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Cam Cad

Author's Note 2-1-14: No, the shot drum roll at the end of this video is not part of the soundtrack music by Arif Banto. I added that for comic effect when I made this embarrassing but fun madcap video. This "Joke Sting" drum roll was provided by SoundBible.com. As Yogi Berra said during the 1972 Pennant Race (no, not Yogi Bear): "It ain't over till it's over."

This little video from earlier this year is not so much a representation of the person I am now as it is an exposé of how I used to be. Totally addicted to making insane home videos for my own amusement and, of course, for therapy. The problem with that was the fact that I shared my affliction with others.

And, yep, I'm still addicted to video making and I'm not the least bit proud of that. In fact, here's a little background on my video addiction. Being addicted to blogging is bad enough, especially when you're the only one reading them. But, being addicted to making and posting asinine, homemade videos with a rinky-dink homemade set up is even worse because EVERYBODY looks at them.

That's the big difference in the 21st Century and, being a writer, I should have known better. People would rather watch than read and I aided and abetted that "de-evoloution", if you will. My only excuse is that I don't drink and I don't do drugs and I don't drive way too fast just for the hell of it. So, I blog and I make videos that would embarrass a clown. But, believe me, I'm not apologizing for my videos.

That's right. This is definitely not an apology of any kind. Just an explanation. And you know why it's not an apology? Because my videos are, number one, pretty clean by modern standards and, number two, I don't hurt anyone making these videos and, number three, no animals were harmed during the making of these homemade Appalachian videos.

If there was a fourth reason why this is not any apology, here it is: You don't have to view any of them if you don't want to. You're as free as birds to watch them or to not watch them. That's the beauty of it all. But, here's the best thing about this whole video deal and these insane, madcap, often satirical and frequently annoying videos of mine: I have a lot of fun doing that shit.

Heaven help us all.

Monday, November 19, 2012

The check is in the mail.

The check is in the mail. That's what I found out the other day when I was scouring my Lulu creator account for royalties due. The check was in the mail. It's about time, I thought. I've been publishing and selling my books through Lulu.com for eight years now, this month, and I finally sold enough books to get my first royalty check. I got it today and this is what I looked like this afternoon, holding the royalty check up to my rinky-dink digital camera that was hooked up to my PC and Windows Movie maker for me to take a video snapshot for later.

I won't tell you how much the check was for but I will tell you that I had to wait eight years to sell a mere 21 trade paperbacks in order to get my first royalty payment. Most of these 21 books were purchased by Amazon.com customers and I'll be forever grateful for their patronage. Right now, Amazon.com is responsible for 99.9% of my books sales. I've been an Amazon author since 2009 and I've only sold a dozen or so paperback books there but I've also sold a couple hundred Kindle Editions. Of course I had to give a way a few thousand FREE Kindle ebooks in order to sell the couple hundred Kindle Editions and garner enough interest for a few paperback sales. Still, I'm selling books. Thank you, Amazon.com customers. And, thank you Lulu.com customers, for your purchases.

Yep, that's the reality of never having your name mentioned on TV. If someone on national TV said I was an author my sales would skyrocket overnight. But who cares anymore? I write because I like to write and that's what I do. So, when I got my first royalty check today from my publisher, Lulu.com, I didn't exactly do cartwheels across the lawn and I have no plans to go on a three-day drunk or anything like that and I have no plans to call anyone. Instead, I blogged about it this evening and then I'm going to check the online TV listings for tomorrow and then I'll call it a day.